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If at first you don't succeed, give up and go to the pub.The onion got so drunk that he chucked up his ring...
It wasn't until they left the party that the girls realised just how drunk they really were."...It was horrible - I was abducted by aliens and underwent some kind of physical examination. They then drip fed me with copious amouts of alcohol..."
BEER - The magazine for the serious beer drinkerNora says I'm supposed to lay this down for a while - But I think I'll drink it... then I'll lay down for a while
Bella only drank one unit of alcohol a weekWITH FRIENDS ON HER BIRTHDAY, HELEN FELT A GREAT SENSE OF INNER PEACE AND CALM... YEP SHE WAS SHITFACED AGAIN!
Shop: SAY IT WITH FLOWRS...  Can you do 'Jessica, sorry I pissed in your wardrobe after drinking too much'?Even after twelve double vodkas, she was still able to retain her usual ladylike dignity, poise and elegance.
WHEN DRUNK AT PARTIES SEBASTIAN ALWAYS GOT HIS COCK OUT.Emma found that if she wore something slinky, she could really make an entrance
For baby Bacchus the transition from breast feeding to bottle feeding went rather smoothly.WINO weekly - The magazine with a lot of bottle
Party ... Until he's cuteBella found if administered correctly, evening primrose oil had a remarkably calming effect
KATE HAD WHAT IT TOOK TO COPE WITH BEING A YEAR OLDER ... 6 LARGE GINS, 3 PINTS OF CIDER AND A BRANDY CHASER!But Darling I'm a fart.. I'm supposed to be pissed!
It was the perfect bar; not only did it get her drunk but it lifted her off the floor and drove her homeHave fun on your 30th Birthday Pete... just go easy on the Tequila
BEER - The magazine for the serious beer drinkerGood food, wine and friends
DOROTHY WAS PROMPTLY SACKED FROM THE SPERM BANK FOR DRINKING ON THE JOBWine is made to be drunk. i am drunk. therefore am i wine?
Eddie went out one night and got really hammeredInstant idiot!... just add alcohol  Happy Birthday Jackie
They knew exactly what to wear to keep the blokes away on a girl's night out.You could say what you liked about Colin, but he certainly knew how to break the ice at parties.
Mum celebrated Mother's Day the same way she celebrated every other day of the weekBEER - The magazine for the serious beer drinker
Derek realised he was shitfaced when he slipped in the pub loo.When Hans announced he was going to throw a "Hell of a Party" he wasn't kidding.
Darling, you'll be glad to know I'm not going out to get wrecked tonightOne party too many
OK, SO WINE HAS OVER 100 CALORIES PER GLASS BUT TO AMANDA THE JOY OF IT WAS, IT GOT YOU TOO PISSED TO GIVE A SHIT!Dad celebrated his 45th Birthday with a few beers in much the same way as he celebrated Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays.....
It was while trying to get undressed that Derek realised he was rat arsed.'Brandy make me randy' said Mandy, 'Whisky makes me frisky' said Julie, 'Vodka makes me throw up and go home with an ugly bloke' laughed Lucy.
AFTER CONCERNS ABOUT HIS BOOZING, GEOFF PROMISED HIS WIFE HE'D STICK TO ONE DRINK PER EVENING20 PINTS A NIGHT HAD GIVEN MATT A BODY TO BE PROUD OF
WINO Weekly - The magazine with a lot of bottleHer tan line suggested that although very relaxing the holiday was not particularly healthy.
The mirror revealed that the head ache part of Bella's hangover was the least of her worriesShaz could actually not remember anything after the 16th rum and coke
Last orders had been called and, pissed or not, the girls were determined to make it to the bar.After several glasses of wine, Lily and Joy did their best not to look too tarty
Nothing like a cold beer on a hot day, or on a warm day, or a cool day or even on a cold dayLaura, the more i drink the more i repeat myself.... I said, the more I drink the more I repeat myself, seriously, the more I drink the more I repeat myself.

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