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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics prove that the people who have the most live the longest -  Larry LorenzoniBeer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin
I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over he would have put diamonds on the floor - Joan RiversHow to please a woman? love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the football for her, buy her jewellery, be interested in what she has to say... How to please a man? show up naked, bring beer.
Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world - Bette MiddlerAs I get older my opinions may change but not the fact that I'm right - Ashleigh Brilliant
When you realise that you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possibleI believe that everyone else my age is an adult whereas I am merely in disguise
Friends are the sunshine of life - John HayInsanity is hereditary. You get it from your children - Sam Levinson
I have everything now that I had twenty years ago, except now it's all... lower - Gypsy Rose LeeWhoever said 'nothing's impossible' obviously never tried to nail jelly to a tree. - Lisa Bryant
You will love being married. It's great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life - Rita RudnerI tell you we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise - Kurk Vonnegut
A wife can surprise her husband on their wedding anniversary by merely mentioning it - EC McKenzieA good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.
Inside every thirty year old id an eighteen year old asking, 'what happened?' - Ann LandersAnyone who lives within their means, suffers from a serious lack of imagination - Oscar Wilde
The road to a friends house is never long - Danish ProverbI'd hate to advocate drugs, alchohol or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me - Hunter S Thompson
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you - Maori proverbThey say that you'll lose your mind when you get older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much -  Malcolm Cowley
you don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked  everyday by a middle aged woman; stuff you pay good money for later in life. - Emo PhillipsTurning 40, I can say my school days were the happiest days of my life; which gives you some idea of the misery I've endured over the past 25 years - Paul Merton

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